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Random Thoughts Too Short To Make Into Posts:
Expectations
Newborn bird
with wet wings and closed eyes
pushed out of the nest
and told to fly
My heart is broken
but you ask me why
I can't stand up
with my head held high
Numb World
Crying into a stone shoulder
wrapped in cold arms
icy hands on my face
is nothing warm anymore?
screaming at a deaf world
hoping they'll some how hear me
Can no one see my bleeding
lying on the floor
can no one feel me falling
falling to the ground
can no one hear me yelling
screaming out in terror
frozen in place
with vacant smiles
do they not know
or do they not care?
Hide the pain
You lie to yourself
you run from the truth
you say you're flying
when we all know you're falling
I know you're hurting
why do you hide the pain?
Crack
Cracking
my world is cracking
splitting straight down
I look to you
but you don't know
you stand in shock
I look to her
she stands motionless
fists clenched in anger
I look at him
he's on the ground crying
Cracking
this world is cracking
and they all know
didn't take the time
to just look and see
maybe this could've been stopped
but it's cracking
breaking apart
my world is cracking
You and Me
Don't die on me
I still need you
Don't cry cause of me
I still love you
No need to say bye to me
I'm still here
I will always be here
Don't lie to me
you know, I can handle the truth
Don't shy from me
I will go find you
and I will never let you go
Third Corner on the Triangle
Maybe this is a nightmare
and soon it'll be done
cause in this painful dream
they're together, and I'm alone
I gaze upon him from afar
see him smile
watch him laugh
I try vainly not to fall for him
he's one more thing I'll never have
This isn't the ending I wanted
so much for my fairytale
I tried so hard not to love him
but at that, I failed
How to fall
couldn't hide
couldn't run
couldn't dodge the bullkets
from your gun
only hid
behind my wall
you never showed me
how to fight
only how to fall
wanted to scream
wished I could crawl
but all I knew
is how to fall
What if
I should've listened
I regret I didn't, now
cause all of my joys
came back to hurt me somehow
I should've looked
now I can only wish I had
maybe I could've seen
how his world was so bad
Maybe it wouldn't have mattered
maybe nothing could be done
but I wish I could've stopped him
before he raised that gun
The Watcher
I watched her fall
I watched her tumble from her throne
All the efforts she had made
erased
in seconds
I saw her shock
her horror
surprise
as she fell from all glory
She reached for me
I looked on with disdain
I could've saved her
could've grasped that hand
but I didn't
I laughed
and let her fall
I smiled
and turned away
her scream filled the air
mingled with my laughter
I watched til she fell from sight
I watched her fall
I let her fall
I made her fall
I admit, I pushed her from that throne
and when she was gone
I took her place
claimed all glory
and I
I shall never fall
Who am I?
Dying
I Miss You
Go Away
The most important thing can be the hardest to say
I don't want to hurt you, but please go away
I'd rather be anywhere but in this place
Lying next to you.
I wish I could replay the song…
Always Leaving
I can’t let this happen again
Silhouettes and shadows streaming through my mind
Believe me, I'm a liar: you'll never be my kind
A little stage, a puppeteer, a sung manipulator
Pulling strings a dancing hand, the patient waiting hater
She loves the games, the masquerade, the sly dance of pretend
But she must always keep her guard
she won't be played again.
Dissolve
Before
Taste of your soul
Smell of your skin
Slowly breathe out
I'll breathe you in
Shocks through my spine
You're touching my scars
It feels so nice
You're stroking my heart
Watch how the weather changes…
Exit
I pause the song and walk away
I close the book and lose the page
My part is done, I leave the stage
I drop his hand, and run away
Unforgettable Inescapable
He won't get out of my mind,
It's not that I haven't tried.
I swear I don't want him...
yeah, right.
I know I can't lie to you.
Hidden
How could they know who you were
If they couldn't even see, your face?
And when we agreed it was the last time
Why couldn't you walk away?
I Had To
Damn it I did it again
Barely Getting By
There's always something different going wrong
Everything I say, it's never enough
You follow her home, I'll keep here alone
And I could never get you to love me enough
Right went wrong and you need her
Everything always falls apart
Did she take all you ever are
And now I realize
I never mattered
To My Best Friend:
I'm sorry that we split apart
Too many things fell in the way
A wall we couldn't break
A ball, a chain
Keeping here, finally gone
And I'll try and come back again
I'm sorry I couldn't be everything, always, everytime
To The One I Know
I'm sorry I couldn't be it all
So hard to keep the snow from melting
So hard to keep a bird from flight
A scream, a cry
Breaking through, now I hear
I don't know if I can stay
I'm sorry I can't be everything, always, everytime
Everything, Always, Everytime
How could you know what it's like?
When the things that made you smile now make you cry
When you find some one to talk to and you need to lie
When you have to choose from what's best, and what is right
I swear that I try
But I can't be everything, always, everytime
Won't you give me some time
Can't think with all your words, and I'm resigned
Won't defend myself to you, I don't want to fight
You don't see how sick this is, deep inside
I won't try to lie
I can't be everything always, everytime
Too Proud to Apologize
You are at fault for the games you play
Feigning nonchalance everyday
You're trapped and bound by what you won't say
Too proud to end the dissaray
When love turns empty, all turns grey
I don't want to live another day
It hurts to see your life gone astray
And all that you love being scared away
You won't admit guilt, and for that you'll pay
Once you were hunter, now you'll be prey
Were you ever sorry, cause you'd never say
You always had to have your way
What Happened?
Will you give me some time, we need to talk
I can tell it's not long before you walk
Away
And where did it go wrong, where did we die?
Is it too late, and don't you lie
To me
I knew you, a long time ago
I can't remember anymore
You say
And now you say you want to leave forever
I watch myself let you walk away
Chosen
I was chosen by God
My only excuse
My only use
Be born be used
And die
But you saved my life
You won my soul
Time took her toll
This is where it gets hard to say
But you took my place
To be used
Abused
To die
Alone
Big Mess
Always something different going wrong
Like waves up and down
I miss you
I miss me
Can't be everything, always, everytime
Always liked to know my heart
I always liked to fall apart
Never thought to wonder why
I'd rather die living than live to die
The words are a cluttered mess
But they're gone from my mind
I can sleep for tonight
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